This week’s episode is a must listen. Dan was the number 9 ranked agent in the country in 2006. Today Dan shares his journey from 321 sides sold and a wrecked family life to being the number one dad and a national keynote speaker. Dan shares his perspective on networking, tracking daily victories, and focusing on what’s important. Follow Dan on everywhere @bydansmith.
Dan is the author of several books which can be purchased on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dan-Smith/e/B01MYFCMGO/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1538311794&sr=8-1
We are re:Think Real Estate – The real estate podcast bringing you the best the industry has to offer.
Chris Lazarus – www.sellectrealty.com
Nathan White – www.linkapm.com
Christian Harris – www.sea-town.com
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reThink Real Estate Podcast Transcription
Audio length 43:05
S1 Ep 31: Dan Smith – A New Definition of Success
Like why do we go? Why did you guys go to Inman? You’re already real estate agents and the only people there are gonna be real estate agents or other industry people. So why do we spend four or five days in San Francisco or in New York or maybe you’re doing a realtor.com thing or somebody else thing in Las Vegas or Florida. Why go there for four or five days to hang out with a bunch of people who are doing what you do who might be your competition? Right. I mean I think that’d be the question.
Me, I go for a recharge. I go for a reduce. I go to meet people, get ideas. You know, the content on stage is awesome. Right. like Chris you were on stage this last one. So you’re pretty [censored] awesome. So…[Chris]: Appreciate it. [Dan]: Alright. I don’t know if people cuss on your podcast but they’re about to get surprised I guess. [Chris]: They do today. [Dan]: So [laughter]. They do today. Beep. [crosstalk]. There you go. So like you were speaking and the content is great and there’s something to be learned from some of the people sharing excellent ideas on stage. No doubt about it. And the notes that I took and the things that I was like “Oh I should consider this and look at this and implement this.” Right. Are one thing. But also the ideas you get when we’re in a social setting. When we’re just having a cocktail. When we’re having lunch. When we’re brainstorming and masterminding and all these. I had a hoc instant real fast like conversations happening. There’s so much power in those things. Right like Christian the three of us were there and we met. Yes we met at the event but not really at the event. We met before the event, right. [Christian]: Yeah getting some pages together, do some good and volunteer your local non-profit. It was yeah great stuff. Doesn’t…that might be. Yeah. [Dan]: You came in a day early. We all got together. 25 of us got together or so and did a non-profit . [Chris]: You all fed the homeless. [Christian]: That’s how we met. [Dan]: We all fed the homeless and then it’s segwayed into the event itself. So we were at the event before the event, which wasn’t even the event. And look at the bonds that were made, the ideas that were shared. Right. and so it’s giving yourself that opportunity for exposure, for access. Right like we’re…how can I get access to some of these people normally that I can just find them at a table at lunch, I can sit next to them in a session, I can have a cocktail with them in the evening. CEOs, major players in the industry that I normally wouldn’t be able to pick their brains and people want to be able to pick my brains and I want to be able to pick, you know, Christians brain. You know, so it’s really cool this networking component that you get. [Chris]: Yeah it’s awesome. And it’s powerful. [Christian]: Yeah I was going to say I mean I think you’re spot on there. I mean you…the content well it’s great to be there. I mean you could livestream it. You can read articles, you know, it’s really the inspiration that you get in the people you meet. You know, I know for myself anecdotally at this last Inman in San Francisco, one of the takeaways was the hour-long roundtable at the Indie broker connect. You know, sat next to a Peter Lorimer [phonetics]. Didn’t know who he was. But everything he stoves is just gold and I’m just like “Who is this guy?” Like he runs his own brokerage. He has all these great ideas and like we connected afterwards. Like I couldn’t have planned it. That wasn’t a session, you know. [Chris]: I’m still sore about that roundtable. [laughter] So I ended up…I hosting and the roundtable. And the roundtable that I hosted was probably the most boring subject ever. No one came. I had two people that came and sit down with me after like 20 minutes. And only because they felt bad for me. And it was protecting your clients data in real estate. I will never do something that boring again. It was so bad. I am still sore [laughter]. [Dan]: Yeah, you know, so I…Did you just spit water there? Oh because it was kind of…OK. So I, you know, one of the things that I did, so every…like on this particular event that we were at there’s this app. Right. That allows you to chat with other attendees. It’s not always the case. But I, you know, every morning, every day I was saying “Hey who wants to go to breakfast tomorrow morning?” And every day I was saying “Hey who wants to go to lunch today.” And so we can find strangers, people who we didn’t know, we could find them that way rather than have to like organically just be like “Hey you do you want to go to lunch?” Which still works by the way.
So every morning I was meeting a group of people at 7 a.m. for breakfast. Every day I was meeting a different group of people at lunch. And then we go to the cocktail hour and I’d run into some usual suspects or people like you guys who I just met the day before. Or something maybe we’re at one of the cocktail hours or something. And so there’s all these opportunities through the day to get outside of your box and meet different people. And get different ideas. And, you know, pick the brains about “What are you doing with this and how are you combating this and how are you fighting this piece of disruption and how are you taking on this piece of innovation and implementing it?” And those settings while the stage is so powerful, it’s being able to talk to successful people face-to-face, up-close, one-on-one that you can really only get at events like this.[Christian]: Yeah. Well I think it really depends on the culture of, you know, what…what kind of people an event draws. I’m like…I only go to, you know, Inman events. I’m not a big conference guy, you know. I think the worst thing in the world would be going to like a realtor, you know, association. Like to me is like oh my God that’d be so boring. You know, so I think you have to be selective. Because, you know, different types of events draw different types of agents. And you gotta kind of find your people so speak. [Dan]: Yeah. Yes. Find your crowd. Right. And I had so many people walk up to me because… [Christian]: A little bit. [Dan]: …rather a social butterfly at these events. Go ahead. Nathan’s got his hand up. [Nathan]: Well I mean, you know, I again I could talk a lot about this. I guess I come at it to from the viewpoint of I was the anti, you know, event guy, local, you know, affiliation guy. Like I’m only doing this because I have to. And so I reframed it and said “All right, fine, let’s…let’s see what I get out of this.” And again Inman was huge for me. I mean hence we…I met a couple other Causey awesome guys [laughter]. We ended up forming a really cool podcast. Right. But we…and I and informed some lifelong friendships. I’ll be…I can’t answer…I’m gonna answer this while we’re live but we’re talking about networking in here. I’m gonna muting…I’m gonna…I don’t want him to talk, but here’s Sean Carpenter calling me back. He’s an introduction I made. [Chris]: Hey Sean. [Dan]: Hey Sean. [Christian]: Hello Sean. [Nathan]: Sean. Sean you got Dan Smith here and we’re recording podcast, talking about networking. So… [Sean]: Hey what’s up Dan Smith? [Nathan]: Here we go. [Dan]: Hey Sean Carpenter. How are you doing buddy? [Nathan]: Perfect timing that you called right now. But I’ll get you back up right. Go dogs. I like it. [laughter]
But the action back there. Like Sean Carpenter in an awesome guy. And make awesome connection. Then on a local level I was very…I was the “This is my competition I don’t want to [censored] hang out with these guys. [censored] them.” And I was just like aggro, right. So I reframed that and I said I’m gonna join the YPM group and do some of these functions. They actually had something called YP and disconnect. One up to Mohican State Park and went canoeing. Had speakers come in from the Ferris group and it was awesome. And what I learned is it’s not, you know, the content is good and I mean you get some killer ideas, don’t get me wrong. You go to these classes. I kind of tune into now. But it’s the people I met who I consider colleagues now. And…and I think ultimately just makes my business easier and it creates a success and it creates some people actually listen to this now. So I think you have to reframe it. I really do and it’s…it’s all about the connection. So that’s kind of the way I approach it especially since I was so hateful I guess about it.[Dan]: Hateful. [laughter] [Chris]: So I think that any…any time you go, any time you’re a part of anything, you’re gonna get out what you put into it. If you’re doing the things that Dan’s doing,, if you’re if you’re having random breakfasts,, if you haven’t random lunch with people that you haven’t met you’re gonna build that. If you go to a conference, if you go to something and you’re not meeting people then I think it’s…it’s not as beneficial. Right. You can get the information. You might get a little bit more context around the information for being there live. But if you’re not building relationships and…and bouncing ideas off of other people like where are you getting that? Because that that’s been one of the things that’s been instrumental for me. Finding these schmucks, Christian and Nate, has been awesome because, you know… Well yeah [laughter].
I got this idea one day and I’m just like “You know what it can’t be that hard to do a podcast. I met this guy at Inman that does it.” And I call Christian and I’m like “Hey do you want to do a real estate podcast?” He’s like “Yeah.” I called Nate I’m like “Nate you want to do a real estate podcast?” He’s like “Yeah. What’s it about?” I am like “I don’t know.” But we did it and now we’ve got some of the best people in real estate coming on. We’ve got freaking Dan Smith. We’ve got Joe Rand. We’ve got Stacy Stateham and the rowdy real estate agent Kellen Hoskins. We’ve had I mean awesome people like Phil Greely who’s now blowing up after meeting with Gary Vee [phonetics]. Just some great people have been on this podcast and it’s gonna continue to be that way. Where’d that come from? Networking.[Dan]: And it’s so weird that every name you… every name you just named I know. I met them at different events. You’re not on my market place. I have met them at different events socially. [Chris]: That’s fantastic. [Dan]: Not that I’ve seen them on stage. That’s so interesting. As you’re going through that list I was like “Oh yeah, oh yeah”. Sean, right so Sean Carpenter and I got hooked up weirdly through an events. Right. We both ended up doing this publicity piece for a company and that’s how we ended up. So yeah you meet these people, right, that you wouldn’t normally meet and then I go to events, being a social butterfly that I am, and I’m like just running around talking to everybody, all right. Turn any Inman app into the own personal Dan Smith app and whatever. But…and people are like…people come up to me they’re like “Oh we’re glad we met you because we haven’t really met anybody else. We’ve been here for three days.”
And it’s always like two people together. Right. And so because you have that little safety net, I think a blanket of your buddy, you don’t go out as much to try to experience.[Chris]: It’s always the same company. [Dan]: And so and it’s like “Well we haven’t really met anybody else except for you, so it’s been so great because then you’ve introduced us to other people.” And so I’m thinking to myself “Wow what a different event this must be for people who just roll in in the morning at 8:55, and by the way tend to not get a chair as it turns out. Because I get there so late. Right. And then leave at 4:30. Don’t even stick around for the cocktail hour or whatever’s going on. Don’t try to get mixed up with any new people and go to dinner with people that they don’t know. And they just go back to their hotel. Eat dinner and either, you know, New York or San Francisco. Maybe you go see a sight or two. And then do the same thing the next day.”
It’s such a different event for those people I think and not nearly as powerful. Because I’m like, when is this thing over “Yeah you’re really good on stage but when is this over?” I want to go be able to talk to people again. I’m like “Yeah I’m writing good notes. Whatever, whatever. This is like brilliant stuff but I want to be able to go talk to people again.” Right. So I am like bait waiting for the time to end. I’m like “When is cocktail hour? When is cocktail hour?” Right. “When do I get to go to dinner with a group of people that I set up?” And I think it’s a different event if you do it like the other way. It’s just…it’s good but it can be so great if you just really put yourself out there.[Chris]: So what are some tips like…because you’re doing this a lot more than we are. You’re…you’re going all across the U.S. at different speaking engagements. For somebody who is just starting to network and build a nationwide database and going across and meeting different people from outside of their market, like what are some pro tips? Like the breakfast and lunch is great. What…what’s something the Dan Smith does every time? [Dan]: I try to identify the top people. Like people who are like “W ow when I grow up that’s the kind of person I want to be.” Like they’re so successful or they’re so well-spoken or they’re so well known. And, you know, what those people want to do? Those people want to hang out with people like that too. And so I’m like “Hey I’m putting together this lunch. I’d like you to come I’m gonna invite A, B and C.” I have invited A, B and C yet but so I know A, B and C are pretty cool people too. Right. Then I’ll go to B and like “Hey I’m putting this together this lunch just for today so we can all talk and share ideas and I’ve got A, B and E.” And then I’ll go to the third person and be like “I got D, E and F.” And pretty soon I got five people who want to go to this lunch together. So that’s one thing that I do. I’m like…I am…that’s one thing that I do to get people together.
The other thing is check it out. You get there the night before or you go out that day and every event that you go to tends to be where? Tends to be in this building where people sleep that we call hotel most of the time. Sometimes are in convention centers but most of the time there are convention centers inside the hotels. Right?[Chris]: Yep. [Dan]: Yes. And so…and so they always have social areas. So check this out. This is something that I do every single time. We’ll look around the room. I will find what looks to be the biggest group. Like “Wow there’s nine people hanging out over there yapping it up that I don’t know or I might only know one of them.” But hopefully I don’t know any of them. And I’ll walk up to that group of 9 people. This is where a lot of you are gonna poop your pants. [laughter] Right. I’m gonna walk up to that group of nine people and I’m gonna say “Hey everybody. My name is Dan Smith and I don’t know any of you somehow and I’m here to meet people.” Right and they’re like “Crazy [censored]. Who is this?” Alright. [Chris]: Who is this sociopath? [Dan]: “Alright. You are a weird dude. Come on in.” Right. And I have met so many different people from just going into a group. Because than its circles of circles. Right. You got into a group of nine people and they have three other people. So by the end of the event those people have introduced me to two or three or four other people and I’ve met 27 and 36 new people from that one moment of walking into a group of nine and spending some time with them. So I pretty much do that on an almost daily basis. [Nathan]: God I gotta go to Inman just to go with Dan and because with his power of connection and my ability to get us in really cool parties we’d be dangerous. [Chris]: You just have to follow Dan around. [Nathan]: I don’t know. I beat at my own drum. Dan and I can march together side by side. [Dan]: There you go. There you go. [Chris]: That’s what we did. We actually…there were…there are several parties that we didn’t get on the list and we had just kind of…we were able to get ourselves into, this past time out at Inman, which was awesome. [Nathan]: People will regret not inviting us now due to this podcast. [laughter] [Chris]: Pretty much. Yeah like…so take note if you’re part of Inman and you’re going to Vegas. You’ll see us there. You better make sure that you invite us to every party. We’ll help you get in.
So Dan you’re an author. And one of the things in your…you’ve got several books. But I’m reading “Failing greatly” right now. About halfway through it. It’s pretty good. And one of the things that I noticed, while we’re on the subject of meeting people, is you talk about how to get over that anxiety, that nervousness when there’s something that you fear. So for…for somebody who’s going up into this group of nine people and they’re about to [censored] their pants, what do they do? [laughter] Like how do they get over that?[Dan]: So check it out. By the way, dude the book is a hundred and nine pages. Are…you are a slow [censored] reader. [Chris]: It’s…it’s so quick. I just picked it up. I picked it up yesterday and I’m halfway through it. [Dan]: Look at that. I mean I know that my target audience is real estate agents [laughter] so I made it small. And it’s got pictures. [Nathan]: There you go. [Chris]: I don’t think I got to the pictures yet. So it will go really fast when I get to the pictures. [Dan]: Yeah yeah. How do you get…how do you get over it? So check this out. What’s the…I play this game and I talk about it in the book a little bit. So the worst case scenario. What’s the worst case scenario? You walk up to a group of 9 people, who you don’t know, try to get outside of your comfort zone and meet some new people. You’re gonna feel a little embarrassed. You’re like protecting yourself from people who aren’t even attacking you. Like it’s your own ego. Right. You don’t wanna be embarrassed. And so you walk up to this group of 9 people and…and you talk to them. And what’s the worst thing that can happen when I walk up and say “Hey everybody my name is Dan Smith and I don’t know you and I want to know you so I’ve come over here to meet you. Let’s get to know each other.” Right. And besides them looking at me like “All right. All right.” Other than that, what’s the worst thing that could happen? [Nathan]: They walk away from you. [Dan]: They’re like…yeah. Well you can even take that a little bit further like maybe they could all like jump up and beat you up. No see that’s not gonna happen. Right. and maybe they can say like “No we’re good man. Go away. You’re weird.” That’d be the worst. They can actually like push you away and say something to you that might bruise your ego. Maybe. Most people aren’t that rude but if you go to the New York Inman you might run into a Long Island crew. Who knows. Right. So whatever. [lughter] [Chris]: Different parts of discussion. [Dan]: But what’s the worst case? The worst case is they’re like…they don’t really engage with you. What’s the best case? What can come out of that? How many relationships can come out of that? What could you learn? Who could they introduce you to? So you’ve got to stop focusing on the worst case because the worst case is like no big deal. They just don’t talk to you very much. The best case is so much better. So you’ve got to be aware that there’s really nothing to be afraid of. The worst case is like pretty much what you already have, which is no relationship with those people. Than you’re not worse off than you are right now. So I think having that worst-case scenario in your head and being like “There is no worst case. It’s only up from here.” That’s probably one of the ways to kind of fight that fear. [Chris]: That’s awesome. That’s good stuff. [Christian]: Yeah. Well before we start recording and we were kind of talking about mindset and whatnot, you know, Nate was talking about, you know, journaling and keeping a positive mindset, you know, as he puts himself through the torture that is long distance. Once you’re marathoning. Now you have what new book is basically a journal type thing? Right? What can you tell us a little bit about that… [Dan]: Yeah. I got it in 3 months. This is kind of like autobiographical about my ups, my downs, what I learned along the way. [Christian]: Our audience can’t see this. Can you tell us the title? [Dan]: Failing… [Chris]: We’re not…we’re not using the video. [Dan]: Oh got it. You’re not using the video. Sorry. [Chris]: No we’re not using the video. It’s a podcast. [Dan]: Failing Greatly. Your guide to achieving success after failure. So some people actually use the video. I didn’t know. You’re right now that I think about it. But anyway Failing Greatly, Your Guide To Achieving Success After Failure. It’s on Amazon. Is actually an Amazon bestseller. It’s cool. Then I’ve got this one. That’s called a planner but the Daily Victory Log. Daily Victory Log is a journaling one and…and I booked this for myself. I built this for me and I worked on it for a couple of years and here’s what I think is important about journaling.
Everybody…everybody journals to some extent or at least understands the power of a journal. Right.[Chris]: Oh yeah. [Nathan]: Yeah I actually do. Most people don’t understand it. But we talk about a lot because there’s a ton of power behind it. So for those that are listening…I don’t think a lot of people do journal. I…I think they think…they’re honestly like “That’s weird.” [Chris]: Hocus Pocus. [Nathan]: And [inaudible]. Right but I’m a firm believer in that in the morning and doing so. I would actually argue with you that I don’t think a lot of people are aware of it and the power behind it. So I would actually ask you to talk about power or… [Christian]: Or if they’re aware, it’s like the first thing drops off their list when they get busy. Just like reading which both those are huge with personal professional development. [Dan]: So that’s weird. It’s like…it’s like maybe it’s who you’re surrounded yourself with. Because everybody I know journals. Right. But it’s just like the people that I associate with tend to be of that. So I have the perception that everybody is journaling. [Chris]: Yeah most people don’t. [Dan]: I would argue the people that I hang out with, they’re really super successful. So it’s probably a good trait. [Chris]: Yeah. [Dan]: So The Daily Victory Log is something that I actually had built for myself. And then I was asked by some people to share it. They’re like “You got this cool thing, why don’t you share it with the rest of us?” And so I did in fact publish it. And so what I thought was, you know, as human individuals we tend to focus on the negative too much. Right. We only focus on the losses. You can have a great day where four things went right but one thing went wrong. At the end of the day when somebody says “How’d your day go?” you say “Ah this thing happened to me.” You focus on the negative. Right. You don’t focus on all the good things it happened throughout the day.
And so the victory log was part of something that I came up with it’s like retraining your brain. At the end of every day go ahead and write down all of your victories. There’s a couple reasons for that. One is it makes you recognize them a little bit more as the day’s going on and on an all day long recognizing victories it’s probably going to keep you more positive, give you a little bit more energy, make your day just better. And then if you write them all down at the end of the night, before you’re going to bed, you’re reha…you’re putting them down there again to remember them and you’re putting all those positive thoughts into your head. So then when you do go to sleep, you’ll sleep better, you sleep deeper. Because you’re not going to sleep like eyes open stressing about what to do tomorrow and everything. You’re going to sleep thinking about all the good things that happen. So then you wake up more refreshed because you had a better night’s sleep. Right.
So I’ve also put a component in there to how to start your day each day. And then at the end of the day as a victory log, so you retrain your brain to focus on the positive not on the negative. And so that was the purpose of the log. I was using it for myself. People said I should share it so I made it. And so it’s been really helpful to a lot of people to really redirect your thought process on positive thinking which rather than negative thinking. Which we all know that’s super powerful. Right. It’s just a way to tangibly do it on a daily basis.[Chris]: That’s actually right in line with something that I’ve been doing. And…and Dan I know you’ve seen in what I’m doing on Facebook. But after last week’s episode with Abhi Golhar and Nate both mentioning the miracle morning for millionaires, that whole routine about getting up early and spending time focusing, and training your brain and journaling and reading and exercise, you know, [censored] that I always thought was hocus-pocus, I actually did it. And I’m in day five right now and I gotta tell you, I have more energy. I am more focused and I’m paying attention to those victories. Right. I haven’t done the victory log. I’m a part of your group online. But paying attention to what you’re putting into your brain when you go to bed and wake up, are probably the most important things that you can do for your attitude.
So, you know, you try and I try and go to bed reading something positive and then waking up to something positive. And it’s been an amazing change. I actually get [censored] done now.[Dan]: Is that…is that a spinoff of Hal Elrod’s [phonetics] miracle morning? I mean I know there is a bunch of them. [Chris]: It’s by Hal Elrod [phonetics]. He has a bunch of different ones. [Dan]: Yeah he has like for real estate agents and for lenders. Yeah and dog owners and he’s done a good job with that franchise. Yeah. Yeah. It goes back to the original book. The Miracle Morning. Right. Which is a really good book. Really good book. OK I just wanted to…Yeah. [Chris]: Yeah. So it basically is the…the original book and then they put in a bunch of quotes by millionaires. [laughter] [Dan]: Yeah he’s done a phenomena job with the franchise. The book was so good. [Chris]: Yeah. [Nathan]: Right and we…sorry we talked about this. I mean it’s like the common theme. But again and we were talking earlier and I talked with Abhi. And like, you know, people say “God I can’t believe you ran in our ultramarathon” and they’re like “How do you do it?” And I’m like “It…it’s 90% mental and the other 10% is mental.” It’s all about mind-sets, you know. People are like “How do you…” I mean I literally am astounded. I ran seventy six and a half miles. I had the ability to quit many, many, many times. That thought crossed my mind. Trust me. All right. I mean there were some moments I was like “What the [censored] are you doing out here?”
But it’s about mindset that kept me out there that kept my…one foot in front of the other. Right. And with anything we do we say it all the time, it’s mindset, its mindset. Whether it’s running real estate, writing a book, you know, there’s…there’s still things I want to accomplish. And I know it takes the mindset to get it done. So I don’t know. I can rant and rave about that all day.[Chris]: So Dan what’s with…with all that you’ve created what are…what do you see happen with people that implement this stuff? When…when they’re focused on journaling their victories. Like share success story with us about something somebody that’s done something positive with it. [Dan]: You know, I…that’ll be tough. I’d have to think about that for a second. So without mentioning one individual success story I can just tell you as a whole… [Chris]: OK. [Dan]: People who have done it are just like ”Wow it really changes my thought process.” Right. There’s that don’t…you know your mind is a dangerous, scary place. Don’t ever go there alone. [Chris]: I have heard that. [Dan]: It really changes the thought process is what people have said. Is like “Man I wake up with a little more intention. I get to plan out my day just a little bit better. I get to focus throughout the day on things that are good versus bad. I get to shake off the things that are bad because I’ve got so much good going on. I get to end my day with good. If I’m having a bad day I can go back into the victory log and just look at the past couple of days or weeks and read about all the good things that are happening to shift my mindset.”
So as individuals we have we have a choice. Personally I can’t control the first thought that comes into my head. Right. crazy stuff comes into my head because I’m a rather crazy dude. Right. So crazy stuff will come here and then I can go down the rabbit hole and follow it if I choose to, or I can like stay the course. And so I can’t control that first thought. Because it’ll be sometimes crazy, negative, jealous things. Yeah, you know, compare it… you’re comparing things. Right.
Somebody shared that quote at Inman which was fantastic. Like I could…I could have walked out of Inman 11 minutes in and been like “I’m good, got my idea.” Right. And that was “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Could have literally left 11 minutes in that first morning. I was like “[censored] it. I got it.”[Chris]: Yeah that was so good. [Dan]: I got my whole…My whole rest of the year is good now. Comparison is the thief of joy. I could have left and that would have been worth the price of admission for getting a handle of [inaudible] sometimes. Not worrying about comparison. But I’m a human being. I got an ego. So sometimes that comes up. Right. I can’t control that first thought. But here’s the deal. I can choose to control all the thoughts after that. That’s a mindset issue. I can choose to control all the thoughts after that. I can choose to fall down the rabbit hole or I can choose to fight it off. Right. I can choose to just redirect my thoughts in something positive again. And if I’m constantly focusing on a positive I think that’s so much easier to do. [Chris]: That…that’s one of the things that was a huge thing for me. It’s like you when you realize that that’s actually a choice…because I think that a lot of people don’t realize it’s a choice. They just…they think and they don’t think about how they think. But it’s a choice and when you realize that it’s like dealing with other people. Right. You can’t control the actions of other people but you can control how you react to them. It’s the same thing with your mind. It’s been huge. [Dan]: Yeah. And Christian mentioned it. Right. I did start a Facebook group. Let’s see. Cleverly named Daily Victory Log. Right. So it’s a…still fits. If anybody wants to join just go ahead and shoot in your [inaudible]. If you like to join and we’ll get you accepted. So a daily victory log is a group that we started out there. And people…the intention is for people to be sharing their victories. Because, you know, misery loves company. Right. and so everyone always wants to tell what’s going wrong so other people can say what’s going wrong. And everybody jumps on that what is going wrong bandwagon.
Let’s have the other bandwagon. Let’s have a like “good stuff is happening” bandwagon. Like “Yo this just what happened to me. And like yo this just happened to me and what…yeah look what just happened to me.” Let’s share positive things rather than just negative. Right. That’s what the damn news is for. Like we don’t need more negative in our lives. Let’s share positives. So that’s what that Facebook group is for. Is for people to share what’s good and happening so that we can interact in a positive manner with each other and not just talk about what’s wrong in our lives.[Nathan]: Can I spin that to ask you a question I sked Abhi when we…when we had him on the podcast. And comes from good old Tim Ferris’s book. What’s one of your favorite failures though that…that led into something great? [Dan]: So…That’s easy actually. So that’s unlike a success story. I have no problem coming up with. My biggest failure was probably being a failure as a dad. Right. let me tell you what happens as an individual agent when you do 321 sides in a year. You blow everything else in your life apart. Right. That’s just that you can’t have both my friend. Right. You got to have one…yeah there’s no balance at 321. [Chris]: I can’t imagine there being any balance there. [Nathan]: I could not. I mean there’s no Balance and I didn’t… [Dan]: Zero. [Nathan]: Yeah. Doing over 30 by myself I felt like there was no balance. Well I couldn’t imagine it that number. [Dan]: So…so…so no balance. So the…my biggest failure. And I had hundreds of them at this point. You would imagine. But we’ll say my biggest one obviously and the one that resonates the most and the one that then started me to prompt me to change and to find some balance and to refocus my life and to figure out priorities and then to figure out a new definition of success, was…I was at my son’s soccer game. So Chris you’ve made it through this part of the book. Right? [Chris]: I got you. [Dan]: Even though…[laughter] And I was at my son’s soccer game and I look like batman. Right. So I had like Blackberries all over my belt and all these devices. You know, back in the day we had like super ETs and stuff. They were on your belt and things too. Right. So I literally had all this [censored]. I mean I was on a phone call. It was one of the view few soccer games that I ever made it to because I was so busy I couldn’t make it. So I roll into a soccer game, you know. I’m the only dad who rolls up wearing like a Brooks Brothers suit and a whole shebang. Right. And…and I’m watching the game. And I got a phone on one ear and I’m texting on the other ear. And Sawyer does something good. He’s my oldest son now. He’s 18 now but this was back when he was, you know, four, five, six. Sawyer does something good and I yell “Go Sawyer.” “Yay Sawyer.” Something Sawyer. And he kind of looks at me kind of weirdly.
Now mind you I’m getting up as probably three, four o’clock in the morning. And heading out to the office. And I’m not coming back every night until like maybe nine, ten, eleven. In the office. Taking care of things. And then rinse, repeat, do again the next day. Seven days a week kind of deal. That’s what it takes to do that level of business, which is not suggested anymore.
So Sawyer goes to the sidelines. I’m on the sidelines not with like the team. I’m just…I’m like the other sidelines I guess you’d say. Sawyer goes to the sidelines and says something to his mom. And then she says something to him. And then he looks back at me and then he goes back out and starts playing again. And so he’s not the most athletic kid too. For him to do something good like he might have actually tried to kick the ball. He’s that kid walking around on the soccer field like “Oh flower.” He’d pick it up. [laughter] Blow it and get the ball rolling by him. Right. So…so I “Yeah you participated in something.” I yell.[Christian]: That’s awesome. [Dan]: I look to his mom. Looks at me. Goes back on the field. After the game asked his mom “What was that about?” She said…she said like with tears in her eyes. Right. She said “Who is that that’s yelling my name?” Right. Because when I did go home I was out of the suit. When you see me on occasion it wasn’t Brookes brother, Batmaned up. But if I leave at 4 o’clock in the morning, you come down home at 10 o’clock at night and you make it to maybe some school plays and maybe a soccer game per season and you’re not around very often…But you’re making a couple million bucks. So you living like a king. But you’re not around for your kids. They don’t necessarily…that bond isn’t there. Right.
So that’s obviously, without a doubt, easy-peasy, slam dunk, [censored] throw it in the air and blow it apart, the shotgun, the number one failure in my life. Still to this day was that particular moment in time. So that was what got kind of got me on a course correction to start fixing things.[Christian]: All the fields. Wow. [Chris]: And now you’re traveling and you just got back. You’re coaching paintball. [Dan]: Yes that’s my alter ego. Right. So it turns out ,my most unathletic kid, Sawyer, does tend to be rather skilled paintball player. He’s started playing when he was 7. So he took us about like 7 years to be like “Yeah you’re not gonna play any traditional sports.” [laughter] So I took him out and started playing paintball. And he turned out to be pretty good at it. And then when the I was playing with them and we used to kind of play together and there’s a father-son bonding thing that we did. And so as he got older he got better. And as I got older I got worse.
He ended up becoming the youngest pro player ever at 13. And certainly went pro at 13. And he’s 18 now. So and then as I got better I actually started doing some coaching. Calling some X’s and O’s and got more and more involved being in the industry and in the sport. So now I do coach his team that plays on a national and professional level. And just got back from Chicago last weekend. Right. Where they took first place in the event.
So yeah we still travel a lot. Do a lot of stuff together. Like I pride myself now and nothing against anybody that’s on the…on the…right here with us or who’s listening. Right. But it is my intention to be the best dad ever. It is my intention to be a better dad than you. It’s my intention to be a better dad than everybody. I want…I want to be the best super dad there is and so that’s my focus. I want to be a great, you know, I want to be a great dad. I want to be a great husband. I’m on number three so I haven’t figured that out quite yet. I think I got third time’s a charm. [laughter]. Right so…[Chris]: We met Melody and she is…she is just absolutely awesome. [Dan]: I think I got it right. So great…great father. Great husband. And then great friend. Right and then great business person. And it used to be completely, probably at 100% a reverse of that. So I still want to be a great business person but they’re some things I’m putting in front of it now. So I spent a lot of time…I set my schedule around the kids in the family’s world. And then I figure out how to do business around that. Rather than doing business and then figuring out how to work family, husband, father, friend around that. I put those things first and then with what’s left…which is a lot of time left by the way. But after I’ve put those things into my world, I figure out how to be a successful business person with the time I’ve got left. Which makes you by the way super damn efficient. [Nathan]: It makes you better person. I just…I like…that like just like gets my heart. Like I used to be that guy that won’t be available all the time. [censored] that. My family is more important. You know, I think it was at Inman or something I heard somebody talking once. He’s like, you know, you ever see that realtor who, you know, wherever…they’ll take a call 24/7, 365 from a client. Right. but you’d be out to dinner with your, you know, and, you know, and boom they’ll answer that call from a client. But if that if that realtor is at lunch put in a colleague or an affiliate and the wife calls he’d be like “Oh it’s my wife, I’ll just call her later.”
It’s such a reverse. Right. You know, you like you got to think about it like I, you know, I mean we could have a whole another podcast about kids. But you don’t get that time back. The days are long. The years are short. Like, you know, that…that’s the kind of the…for me that’s my why. What I do. I wanted to be gigantic but I just want to have a good life. I don’t…I don’t need balance. I don’t like that. I operate in a little bit of craziness anyway. But yeah family I…and again you just you got all the feels from me. Yes.[Chris]: Full of feels. Alright I think that that just about does it for time today. Dan so thank you, first off thank you so much for taking the time to come with us here at re:Think Real Estate and tell your story and talk a little bit about networking, and some of your expertise. Where can everybody go to get your books? Because they need to read it.
So ebooks or Amazon. Just go to Amazon and type in Failing Greatly. Oddly enough if you type in Dan Smith on Amazon, the number one bowtie maker in the world is named Dan Smith, and there’s two other best-selling authors named Dan Smith. So you got to weed through a bunch of books to get to my name. I got a [censored] name apparently. [laughter] Go to [inaudible] [Chris]: We’ll put links in the comments.[Dan]: Yeah go to Failing Greatly and then you’ll see my buy in. You can get to the different things. I got three different books on there. You can also go to my website byDanSmith.com. B-Y like the author or not for sale B-u-i. byDanSmith.com and from there you’ll see there’s the amazon link on there. Follow me on all social media platforms, by Dan Smith, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Everything is by Dan Smith. Email is Dan@byDanSmith if anybody has any questions and wants to reach out go ahead and do so. So I’m pretty available over the world just with my super common name by just adding the word by in front of it. [Chris]: That’s fantastic. Alright. Thank you so much for taking the time Dan. We’re so glad that we got to spend this time with you and learn mainly the biggest heart pull that we’ve had so far on this show. Being your change from not dad to super dad. So congratulations on that. This has been re:Think Real Estate everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. We’ll catch you next Monday. [music] [Chris]: Thanks for tuning in this week’s episode of the re:Think Real Estate Podcast. We would love to hear your feedback so please leave us a review on iTunes. Our music is curtesy of Dan Koch K-O-C-H, whose music can be explored and licensed for use at dankoch.net. Thank you Dan. Please like, share and follow. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com/rethinkpodcast. Thank you so much for tuning in everyone and have a great week. [music]