RTRE 52 – Keeping a Successful Mindset in Real Estate

Keeping a positive outlook while building a business is not always the easiest. Today we talk about the tips and tricks we use to keep our minds focused and free from distraction and negative thoughts.

Mindset matters.

Real Estate Podcast Transcript

Audio length 28:12

RTRE 52 – Keeping a Successful Mindset in Real Estate

[music] [Chris] Welcome to re:Think Real Estate, your educational and hopefully entertaining source for all things real estate, business, news and tech. 

[Christian]: I am Christian Harris in Seattle, Washington.

[Nathan]: Hi, I am Nathan White in Columbus, Ohio.

[Chris]: And I am Chris Lazarus in Atlanta, Georgia. Thanks for tuning in. 

[music] [Chris]: Everybody and welcome back to re:Think Real Estate.  I am Chris Lazarus here with Christian Harris and Nathan White. What is up guys?

[Nathan]: [crosstalk] [Christian]: I am possibly feeling good. Kind of good mental outlook.

[Chris]: You got a good mental outlook? 

[Christian]: I am happy.

[Chris]: What about you Nate? How is your mental outlook going today?

[Nathan]: As strong as usual. 

[Chris]: Fantastic.

[Christian]: All the exercise. All this endorphin is gone.

[Nathan]: It’s also about not letting the…not letting that other devil on the shoulder creep in.

[Chris]: Oh yeah definitely. It’s always there. Today everybody we are talking about the mental state. The attitude to be peak performance, businessman, person. Whatever you wanna call it. But we’re gonna talk about how your attitude and your metal state can impact not only your business but our personal life. Your family. 

Everything that you do is impacted by your mental state. So guys who wants to take it off with the first point on this? Nate you’re doing a lot with…with running and just being all around crazy person. So why don’t we start with you?

[Nathan]: Yeah I mean I guess you can. Sure. Whatever. Huh. [laughter] The…you know we talk about mental state right. I guess that’s a question I get asked a lot. You know they say “How do you run so far? How do you do what you do?”. 

And you know I tell people it’s really it’s not the physical. It’s a couple of things. One is the mind. It is…it is having the mental fortitude to as we…as I said when we were getting into the show, talking that other guy off your shoulder who is telling you the whole time “You know you can quit”. 

The other side of the mental state if you would is commitment. You know I probably said it before in our podcast. I talk about Ritual says it but you know he says it the moment of commitment the universe will conspire to assist you. There’s Casey Neistat who is a filmmaker. He has a plan or a recipe if you would for success. That he guarantees to work. And I think it is all within this category. 

What Casey says is “All you have to do is commit your entire life to something which will result in either 1 of 2 outcomes. Either you will succeed or you will die trying which is in itself its own form of success, right?”. 

You know we’re always…we’re always looking for the easy way to do things either be in life, or even as a realtor. Realtors I think we’re the best example of like “Oh wait sweet, that’s gonna make me a million dollars. Oh wait look over here that’s gonna make me this”. We’re looking for the easiest way instead of committing to something and having the right mindset. 

I will use us as an example right. We could have been traditional realtors when we said we were gonna set out to do the podcast. And I think you know not knocking on everybody on industry but you know a lot of people would have said “Alright fine after 10 episode…” they call, they call it quits. 

[Chris]: They have.

[Nathan]: Because the mindset was wrong going into it. When we started this we said before even recording an episode “We’re committed to 100 episodes win, lose or draw”. Right. Because we have, we have no way to measure anything by doing it 3 or 4 times. And maybe even 100 is still not where we wanted to be but we stuck with the commitment to do it. Is it a [censored] and a pain the [censored] and do we have to coordinate all these other things that we have to deal with? Yes.

[Chris]: At times.

[Nathan]: But we are committed. And that takes mindset. Just stay committed to it. Right. I think any of us at any given point could have said “God is this…” You know we probably all said “Is this worth it?”. We have had those moments but you have to fight through the moment of doubt to move past it which generally is very fleeting. And it’s quick and then we progress. Right. 

So…you know mindsets it’s everything we do. It’s not just real estate. It’s in your personal life and your daily life and your rituals. I mean I could preach about it all day I guess. You know a lot of what I have accomplished I consider myself an average Joe but I think what sets me apart is I have a different mindset. 

[Christian]: Yeah I will add to that if I could.

[Nathan]: No.

[Christian]: I think…

[Chris]: No you can’t. Nate is gonna talk for this episode.

[Nathan]: We don’t need your opinion. We’re just gonna stop there and work it out.

[Christian]: Episode over. I think you’re right. I think you know not giving up and being consistent is a big part of it. But I think the mindset as you’re going through it and how you respond to you know using the example of the podcast. It takes up time and planning you know. We’re blocked out 2 or 3 hours you know every week. Every couple of weeks to knock these out. And you know I could be thinking myself “Oh man this is a pain in the [censored]. I don’t have time for this. I don’t really like Nate but you know whatever. [laughter]” Whatever are my excuses.

[Nathan]: Not liking me is a good one.

[Christian]: But…But instead you know I choose to try and focus on “Well this is beneficial. Hopefully we will provide some value to other agents and this thing is gonna start you know being a momentum”. You know it’s kind of what do you focus on? Do you wallow in the negatives or do you look towards you know, the positives? 

And that’s one thing that I think really, really can keep things going. Keep your energy up and just in life will keep you going. Because you could just wide knowingly and try and not give up. But just hate your life and be miserable and you know be an energy suck to everyone around you. Or if your attitude is you know right it will be the other. It will be again life empowering and energy. Giving and inspiring instead of what most people don’t like being around. You know. 

[Chris]: I think that you know when it comes to the thoughts that people have I think the difference between somebody who is successful and somebody who is not is their ability to control where their focus is going. And I think there is a common misperception by those who are unable to keep a positive attitude about how that happens. 

And one of the…I wanna say it was in the Success Principles by Jack Canfield. But one of the best things that I have read is that everybody gets the train of thought. Everybody gets doubt and everybody gets the feeling of optimism at times and everybody struggles with “Is this for me or am I doing the right thing? Am I wasting my time? This is such a pain in the [censored]. I am not seeing the results”. 

But the difference between people who are successful and the people who are not is the people who are successful have those thoughts and then they just watch those thoughts you know fly by. Right. Everybody…the train is gonna come and go. You can choose whether to ride it or not. And that’s one thing that I have tried to do is that when those come up pay attention to it for a few minutes than get back to work. And you know I don’t have time to wallow or think about whether this is gonna work or not. Just get on to the next project.

[Christian]: Yeah I think you kind of remind me when you’re talking about kind of the thoughts we have. You know because you can just be kind of the positive energy you know feng shui “I am just one with the universe, it’s all about the feelings” right. [laughter] How do you get there? You can’t just force feelings.

[Chris]: No. Yeah.

[Christian]: And I think a big part of that is…You know we’re talking about intentionality there but I think there is intentionality in your thoughts. You know because like…

[Chris]: Definitely.

[Christian]: Because we’re all…we all have internal voice. Internal dialogue right. We’re always telling ourselves there is always a story that we’re telling ourselves. Now that story could be full of lies or it could be full of truths. It could be life empowering or life sucking. And so if we’re not conscious of…

[Chris]: That’s good.

[Christian]: If we’re not conscious of what we’re telling ourselves…you know like something bad happens I tell myself and I am subconsciously telling myself “Man there he goes again. I am a total idiot. I am a marron. I can’t do anything right. Nothing is gonna work”. Like you’re gonna spiral downwards. 

But if you’re like “OK it’s a little setback. I am gonna keep going forward. I am gonna make a suggestion.” You know like that’s going to keep you going forward. And if you’re not conscious of what we’re telling ourselves or what story we’re living our lives out of than you know our emotions are gonna be all over the place and we’re not gonna know why. Because our thoughts largely will dictate “OK do I respond well to this? My emotions are going to you know get better or am I gonna spiral into the self-sabotaging depression”. Those thoughts that we have and what we’re telling ourselves largely will dictate that.

[Nathan]: But what did Henry Ford say? He has one of the greatest lines of all time. 

[Chris]: Whether you think you can or you can’t you’re right.

[Nathan]: Either way your right.

[Christian]: That’s right. Exactly.

[Nathan]: Believe that like any of the journeys that I have bene on in my life and hell I have been on some. You know they were…they were hard. They were painful. They weren’t…they weren’t colossi. The reward though was the journey in itself. The not quitting. The really finishing the task, right. 

And I think anybody that has been through whatever life experience it may be they are…they already know this. They know what’s true. Right? You know I mean so…but it’s…it is you know the mind itself it can be your best friend or your worst enemy, right? I mean you know I think and I was doing my 24 hour run and it’s 3 a.m. in the morning. You know I’ve got that guy on my shoulder and that part of my mind going “Why the [censored] are you out here for? What are you doing?” Right. 

And at any moment I could have just quit. I could have said “This is enough.” But what I had to realize is that moment of doubt, the moment of fear generally they’re very short. They don’t last as long as I think one likes to think. If you can get past it than it’s OK but you kind of have to…you know you have to commit the daily pressure and what, you know, compels to just progress sometimes. You gotta give yourself you know over and over and over you know…I am good at what I do because I failed a lot. And I think a lot of people when they have failures they…they just quit.

[Christian]: Right. But you took those failures and you said “What can I learn and how can I grow?” and not try to give up and not try it ever again because it’s risky and painful. Super painful. 

[Chris]: And that’s the key. Like you learn from the mistakes. You know one of the things that I have seen in being the difference between especially new agents coming into real estate. Those being successful or those that are very fleeting in the industry is how long their outlook is. Because if people are focused on short term , right. If you’re focused on “Oh I’ve gotta get 3 byers in 3 weeks” and that doesn’t happen than you get discouraged. OK “Well I’ve gotta get 3 buyer sin 3 months now, that’s a little bit more reasonable”. 

But when people start doing things like prospecting and mailing campaigns and maybe they subscribe to do a lead platform like Zillow or Sync or Boom Town or whatever it is, people always expect immediate results and they don’t have a long forecast because things don’t happen overnight. And if somebody goes into something with a plan of you know “I am gonna try this for 3 months and see if it works” and then 3 months in they haven’t…they barely got the system set up and they don’t know how to work it yet and they’re not getting the results and they throw the hands up and they say “I have been paying for this for 3 months and it’s not working”. 

People who go in with that kind of mindset have such a completely different and less successful experience than somebody who is like “You know what I am gonna go into it, I am gonna give it 3 months to learn it, 6 months to execute and then I am gonna evaluate in the last 3 months and I am gonna commit a year to this and see if this is a system that I want to continue with”. 

And people who go in and they study it and work at it diligently…It’s like a CRM right? What’s the best CRM? The one you use. Doesn’t matter the software. Not to be a jab Nate.

[Nathan]: No it’s OK.

[Chris]: [laughter] But you know when it comes to the fortitude of how well somebody is gonna be…How likely their success is. If they have a long outlook right, if they have a 2 year business plan and something happens to them at months 3 but they know that they’re in it for 2 years they’re a lot less likely to be negatively impacted by whatever that event is at month 3. They’re like “I got a long way to go”. And then they just get back on the saddle. Versus who is like “OK I am gonna give it 6 months”. And than they come in and they barely have enough time to set up their email account. It’s gonna be a different story.

[Christian]: Yeah I think…I think realistic expectations are important. You know I would say if you want to be successful and you know specifically in real estate or just business in general, don’t be a…don’t be afraid to take risks. Because if you’re afraid of failure like you’re never gonna take a big enough risk to really make a difference in your life.

[Chris]: Couldn’t agree more.

[Christian]: Like Nate saying you know…you know like the more you fail hopefully you learn from that and that is what leads to success, not playing it safe and never trying. I know for me I learned this pretty early on form my military career you know because I joined…I joined the army at 25. And my whole goal was special forces. 

You know I am like “If I am gonna serve than I am gonna serve the best”. And the elite and whatever. So I knew going into it that it was gonna be a tough road. And I guess it was physically demanding, hardest thing I have ever done but as a mental part that really kills people. There is you know total studs out there that you know as soon as it starts getting tough or inconvenient they are like “I am done I am out”. 

You know but one of the things I have learned going through special forces assessment that the qualification course is you know instead of kind of doing the…what we do with the procrastination, instead of saying “I’ll start exercising tomorrow, I’ll start doing this tomorrow”. You kind of reverse it and say “I will quit tomorrow”. But you know “This road march sucks. Plenty of miles wearing 60 plus pounds. I will quit tomorrow. I will quit in a kilometer. I will quit when I get over that hill. OK there’s just one more hill and I will quit than”. And before you know you’ve finished. Before you know you’ve succeeded.

[Chris]: I like that. That’s awesome.

[Christian]: It is just these mental games you kind of learn to like keep yourself you know acknowledge the reality that “Yeah it sucks but I am gonna keep going. I am gonna do my best”. You know and that’s all you can do. You do your best and before you know it you realize you can actually withstand mental and physically a lot more than you think you can.

[Nathan]: I’ll…I can talk about this all day but I will leave it with this. I admire a true…I carry him around in my hand all day long because I you know we have talked about my headset and I have to have my little tricks. But Ritual says “Practice your craft. Whatever shape or form that may be late into the evening with relentless giber. Embrace the fear, let go off perfection. Allow yourself to fail. Welcome the obstacles. Forget the results. Give yourself over to the passion with every fiber of your art and live out the rest of your days trying to do better. I can’t promise you’ll succeed in the way our culture inappropriately defines the term but I can absolutely guarantee you that you will deeply become acquainted with who you truly are. You’ll touch and exude passion and discover what it means to truly be alive”. 

[Christian]: That’s enough said.

[Nathan]: Yeah love that man [laughter].

[Chris]: That’s good stuff. So for real estate agents we ride an emotional roller coaster. We have periods where we’re like “Oh great this is awesome. Get a client, somebody who actually wants to work with us”. And then “Oh man that client they already signed a brokerage agreement with somebody else”. Or “They went out and they bought a home that was a Feesbo and they’re now not gonna give me a commission”. Or “They went and bought a new construction and they put me down as the agent”. 

Than we’ve got all sorts of ups and downs. You know. “Got the first contract”. And then the financing falls through right before closing. And I mean it just happens over and over and over in our industry. So guys how do you take a beating and get back up the next day?

[Christian]: Yeah it’s a good question. I mean it’s how the mentality and how what we were talking about applies to real estate specifically is…I don’t know I mean Nate just made it kind of simple or whatever but just do your best. Don’t worry about what everyone else around you is doing. You know because there is so much especially culturally with kind of the politics and kind of the…what’s the word I am looking for, not segregation but you know, the extremes. You know people are very polarized.

[Chris]: Oh yeah.

[Christian]: Very polarized. So you know it could be very easy to…I don’t know what point I am trying to make here. You can cut this out [laughter]. So I guess how it applies to real estate.

[Chris]: Yeah how do real estate agents keep taking a beating? How do they get up every morning, get punched in the throat and then go to bed and wake up the nest day with a smile in the face to get punched in the throat again.

[Christian]: Yeah I would say just keep…you know trying your best. Do your best. Don’t worry about what everyone around you is doing. You know because I mean it’s very easy to get cynical and complain in this industry and you know I am a big believer that complaining and negativity is a cancer. You know it spreads like it infects you know culture infects an office, affects those around you. Not in a good way you know. 

So I try to tell myself “OK when I find myself complaining or thinking to myself hey this other agent is a complete marron like I go out of my way to like OK maybe they’re just new, maybe they’re having an off day or maybe they are a marron”. But it doesn’t really do any good to like spread that around my office [laughter]. You know. You know so I am just like “OK note to self don’t do that. Learn from this”. You know learn from other people’s either just traditional things that I don’t like or the things I think are wrong. Instead of just complaining about it you know do something about it and you know maybe they need help you know. Maybe they didn’t get good mentoring or their brokerage sucks or something. You know just do what you can to help yourself help those that you know ultimately effect and do thing that you can have a change on, have an effect on. You know things that you can’t change just write it off your back, let it go. Just take care of yourself.

[Nathan]: Let’s just go back. How…what’s the answer to the question? I don’t have one. That is it. I honestly I don’t…I don’t have one. I think you have to lose a lot. I think you have to fail a lot to appreciate what you have. Because I think it’s hard for a lot of people to appreciate what they truly have because they never went without. 

I see it a lot. You know it’s always the wanting of more, more, more. I can tell you form experience of having nothing. Literally having nothing. I am thankful for what I got every day. So…You know you want to really find out go and test yourself. Go sleep outside for 2 nights with a blanket and nothing else but a cardboard and find your food. And literally do something like that. Do something extreme. Really crazy like that sounds crazy. But go do it. 

Just experience for 2 days what it is like to be homeless or something. You know I could think of crazier things but that’s just a good one. And then maybe you will take a step back and appreciate what you do have. Again being grateful is I don’t know for some people it is a hard [censored] thing. And we should be more of it. So mindset. You are who you are. You control you know what you can control and I can’t control you or anybody else. But you can as an individual. So make that choice everyday and have a great day. I would start there.

[Christian]: Yeah that’s an interesting point because you have been thinking about this a lot because I have an 8 year old kid who you know has a pretty…pretty damn good life [laughter] and doesn’t know it you know. And so thinking about like you can try to teach gratitude which is obviously what we’re doing you know as parents. But you know the reality is like without the perspective of like never having known what is like to be really hungry or cold or you know lonely without friends or whatever like it’s really hard to teach them so we’re trying to teach them “OK responding well.” 

Just because you know if you’re like “This is my expectation up here and nothing in life ever meets it” you’re always gonna be dissatisfied. You know versus kind of a more realistic like “Hey I got up in the morning. There is lung in my air and I am upright on 2 feet. Like life’s good. [laughter] you know I am not in crying pain or whatever”. You know. So there’s always…always something good that you can focus on as far as being grateful. 

I think a huge cancer in our society is…has come to this envy class welfare thing where essentially you know we may be like “Hey I am doing pretty good” and then someone on the news brings stuff up well “You know the richest people in the world are getting richer but the middle class blah blah blah”. And like “How does that affect me?” It doesn’t. I was fine until a minute ago until I find out someone has aa billion dollars more than I do and now I am just pissed off. 

It’s like their success doesn’t make me less successful. It’s all like envy class welfare politicizing all of this you know stuff like that keeps up pissed off and miserable and ungrateful. You know like focus on what you do have. It could be a whole lot worse and don’t always be wanting what someone else has. You know.

[Chris]: That’s awesome. You know one of the things that I think helps agents when they’re…you know when they get beat down and they’re starting their career and they have those big failures, is you know just look at it in perspective. We try and keep a support system around them so that they’re not going off and wallowing on their own. We try and encourage them to focus on the behavior. Focus on what you need to do. Focus on the actions. Focus on reaching out to your clients or your database and creating a great relationship with them. Focus on doing something to improve somebody’s day. 

So if your client fell through and you know got stood up at a showing, well now you’ve got some time that you can go and try and brighten somebody else’s day. Somebody that is in your network that you can remind them what you do but also at the same time do something nice for them. To let them know that you’re thinking of them. 

And I find that when agents do that and they go out and they show gratitude towards everybody else which is awesome. I love that you brought up gratitude. It changes their mindset right. If I am in a really bad mood and I go and do something great for somebody I am not gonna be in that bad mood for a long time. Especially if I can feel good about what I was able to do for someone. 

And you know if you get stood up in an appointment you get that deal that falls through just take that as an excuse to have some extra free time to do something good in somebody else’s life and eventually that’s gonna all pay off as dividends.

Because I think too many…too many agents, too many people focus on the short term. They focus on “What are my numbers? What are my numbers? What do my numbers need to be? Why aren’t they there?”. And they don’t focus on the behaviors. They don’t focus on “Am I doing the right thing?”. They are going to eventually lead to a better performance. So I think that’s kind of the big thing that I have seen. I don’t know. Hopefully it helps answers…

[Christian]: I mean I would say just kind of say in wrapping up to some up all this in general having a good attitude which you know starts with those right thoughts, the true thoughts that live in your head you know will lead you to gratitude which will lead you to empathy and hopefully understand the people and be more compassionate will lead you to just being a better more happy satisfied human being [laughter]. Which you know how can you not be successful in life if like that’s your outlook.

[Chris]: People do business with people they know like and trust. You’re happy…

[Nathan]: You have a choice people, folks. You have a choice.

[Chris]: Yeah if you’ve got a great outlook, people are gonna want to do business with you. You got a great outlook and you know what you’re doing people are gonna want to do business with you and they’re gonna refer you to other people. Simple as that. So thanks for tuning in everybody. This has been another episode of re:Think Real Estate. We’ll catch you next Monday. 


[Chris]: Thanks for tuning in this week’s episode of the re:Think Real Estate Podcast. We would love to hear your feedback so please leave us a review on iTunes. Our music is curtesy of Dan Koch K-O-C-H, whose music can be explored and licensed for use at dankoch.net. Thank you Dan. Please like, share and follow. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com/rethinkpodcast. Thank you so much for tuning in everyone and have a great week.